I'm not the best to answer.... But as I'm here :)
OK I have a principle (an easy one :) )
For minor release you are 100%sure the database structure didn't change at all.
This means that you download the resource, unzip it and transfer/replace the unziped content right in the place you installed XOT.
No worries, as only existing files are replaced, so no risk at all for your work.
Anyway it's worth doing a "snapshot", or save all before, just in case :)
For major releases, it depends on your environment. I therefore only give you the way I work, i'm sure it's not the best but at least it is working !
I install the new version as a fresh install (with a different database name !)
I save/export all my work and import it (do not copy/past !)
I check all is ok, and when i'm satisfied, i remove the older XOT and then drop the corresponding database.
So far it has worked for quite a time ;)